For those who were unable to get the emails, these are for you....
9.3.07
So the saga of having guinea pigs in the Faust home continues. The pigs still live....even while living under the same roof as me (robb), the most anti-pet person of them all!
our vet experience:
We took them to the vet (aka the Petsmart Doctor) last week to get their toenails cut. We were supposed to be doing this regularly (ha!). First of all, none of us have the guts to hold their little claws and clip each nail. (they have veins in their toes, so snipping too far down will exert blood all over the place - none of us could stomach it).
Anyway, we all watched the doctor do it - he did good until he met Brownie. Brownie decided to first pee all over him (which absolutely killed the kids in laughter!) and then squeal when the blood started - - geesh, you'd think a vet could DO these things....So now we have finely clipped nails on our 24 TOES of the 6 PIGS! (who would have thought they'd live this long?)
While we were there, we asked him to tell us "which were which." Yes, the questions had still remained. They were born a while back, and we had made our guesses. We needed to know FOR SURE what sexes they were....because at this point we had absolutely no more room in the laundry room for these creatures - they were taking over! If you're not aware, we had 3, yes THREE, cages in our laundry room - with the little boogers all separated out "so the daddy doesn't, first, EAT the babies" and then "so the daddy doesn't make more babies with the babies or the mommy." Geesh. Like we want to start explaining THAT already! Oh, and the cages were stacked on top of each other in what sort of looks like a Guinea Pig Condominium Complex. But I digress....let's get back to the story...
Having never had a pet in my life, I assumed you just look between the legs and tell them apart. Apparently it's not that easy with guinea pigs. We were wrong in our guesses - - all of our guesses. The proper way to know the sex of guinea pigs: hold the booger face up (like they are going to pee right in your eye) and proceed to squeeze where you think their TESTICLES are! Then - - if while squeezing, this QUITE LARGE PENIS LOOKING THING bursts through the skin - - - THEN you have a male!!!
And oh my goodness.....we have three of them! The process itself made me want to be a woman! :)
10.6.07
another update from the Faust Family Pig Farm...
for some time now, after the shock of reproducing 4 additional guinea pigs into our family of 2 "females", we've been trying to figure out how to reduce our family size. This has entailed a host of questions like: which ones to get rid of...umm..I mean which of the cute little piggies we can ask another child to adopt....or other questions like: who do we know that needs another pet, will the pet place take them back, is there an animal shelter nearby, or can't we just throw them in a field...sorry...that was MY question popping through my head...
Anyway, we decided that we would say "goodbye" to the boys (they ARE the most trouble, you know!) and went forth to list them on CraigsList.com this past week.
*before going further, I must note that deciding to get rid of the boys was a much more complex decision than it might seem. Explanation as to WHY was easy (they are stinkier than the girls, they are more roudy than the girls, we can't keep paying $3000 for food - okay, I'm exagerrating a little). What was hardest was explaining TO the kids about WHO was leaving (aka "Kasey" "Chocolate" and "Spikey, Jr.") - - we all were pretty much in agreement with saying bye-bye to Kasey. He's the dad and quite sex-driven, I should add! :) Unfortunately for Chocolate, he was just one of the babies that had an identity crisis. I was the one always confusing him with the girl named "Brownie" and thus he was mostly forgotten about...And of course, Spikey Jr was Cream of the Cute Crop! He was our son's favorite (I must admit, he was definitely the Cutie Pie of the Pig Population). And tears were shed over giving up the Cute one...
Okay - enough of the sob story, let's get back to the good stuff. I listed the little boogers on CraigsList.com - with pictures and a story that only Robb could describe....yes, yes. I gave it a little twist using the whole ".....and then there were six" - it was funny. Anyway, we got 8 immediate emails and finally a "meet up with me" email.
* humor me and read on while I yet again interject my story:
this whole email thing was cracking me up. "oh my kids would love them, are they really free?" or "I'm interested - call me!" or "I can meet you at Meijer on Tuesday at 5pm" - - - forgive me, but I felt like I was going behind an alley to sell drugs or something. I talked to a complete stranger about the weird hours of my day, how to "hook up" with her schedule, and "deliver the goods." It was hysterical!
back to the story...we decided to meet in Mason at 4pm on Friday afternoon. I was getting off work early, so my plan was to come home, pick up the pigs, and meet the new family at Culvers Restaurant. We told the kids the news on Thursday night. They of course stopped what they were doing and decided to play with the 3 boys for a while that night (because you know they didn't originally have that planned in their "play" schedule that night...) They shed more tears over losing Spikey Jr. Mommy tried to explain the adoption process. I just tried to hold in my tears.....of JOY!
The morning came. Normal routine. Don't forget to say bye to the boys...Daddy's dropping them off before you come home tonight...They say good-bye and get on the bus. I had to mow the lawn, take a shower....and then it hit me! Hmmm...In order to make this easier for me at work today, I'll take the pigs with me to work and then I'll have them with me in the car...I can leave a little later from work and not have to stop home...with Friday night traffic, this will work great. So - that's what I did. Ethan said his good-byes on the way to the sitter's house, and I drove the "boys" to work with me. Kept em in the office with me - my associate thought we had Ewoks among us with the grunting and the whistling... overall the day went just fine...left at the right time and headed to Mason with pigs in the front seat.
Mind you, I was going a little slower than normal; they were a little "antsy" while driving...It seemed to me that little dudes knew just what was going on and they continued to stare up at me with those eyes....those little eyes.....Ah! we're getting close to Mason, and I'm seeing a lot of traffic ahead.
***NOW, if you know anything about Fausts from the Head Matriarch's side....you know that when I said I left on time REALLY meant I left at just the time that I needed to leave without any interruptions in order to get to where I was going "on time." traffic was not an option.***
I did however have the lady's cell phone number and proceeded to call her to let her know of the situation. The great part was that she was just ahead of me (after picking up her kids from school), so we were able to quickly redefine the original meeting place and met at the BP at the next exit! Pulled over, got out, delivered the goods, talked a little (mostly about how she & the kids already have 2 dogs and a lizard at home. they are going to set up a huge cage that the boys can just run all over the place in), and set them on their way...
So. 3 little piggies found themselves a new little home. Thank Goodness.
01.20.08
The Faust family has made a decision. In our recent history, it’s taken quite some time to reach this conclusion. Along with some parental persuasion, from the cleanliest depths of our souls, this result will affect ALL members of the family – including Daddy (who is the happiest one of all)!!
You guessed it: we are “delivering the goods” once again - - this time, for good.
Our female guinea pigs have lasted in our family for just over half of one year. The kids have enjoyed playing with them, holding them, and talking to them. But Spike, Chippy, and Brownie have peed, pooped, flicked their bedding outside of the cage, and smelled up our house for the last time! And Daddy is very happy.
We posted the pig pictures on the web this evening, and we have already planned the “drop-off” for tomorrow night.
As the saying goes, “Out with the old and in with the new.”
Any parent knows the art of making a convincing trade. So we got rid of the pigs (yippee!) and then we traded “up” for an early birthday present: an aquarium – the kids can pick out the fish. We’re all set up (the water is “brewing”). Fish come tomorrow. I think they want a swimmy frog and a snail too! THAT should be interesting. I’m sure you’ll receive an update after the purchasing is completed.
So – Daddy is VERY pleased with the outcome: no more poop flicked in my shoes & coat, no more constant vacuuming up the bedding crap, and no more squeaky little grunts when I pull out a bag from the refrigerator. I think I can get used to a tank of water in my family room.
